Oh My Oz Another Parody
by theHAPPYobsessedwickedfan3611
Summary: ANOTHER PARODY? Yep another one. I know a lot of people have done these before, and I really wanted to write one of my own. PLEASE DONT SUE ME!
1. Chapter 1

**I probably shouldn't be starting another story, but I will anyways. Sorry people.**

**A LOT and I mean A LOT of people have done parody's like this and I really wanted to right my own, PLEASE DONT SUE ME!**

**Disclaimer: If Wicked were mine I wouldn't be writing FANfiction, for those of you who are confused, I. Do. Not. Own. Wicked. Period.**

Ozian #1:(runs out onstage) GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY SHE'S DEAD!

Other Ozians: (burst out of Giant Hat) GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD! THE...umm...

Head Dancer: Who exactly are we singing about again?

Ozian #1: I dunno I forgot...

Head Dancer: Well let's just check this giant stack of papers I found (reading script) Yep...oh...uhuh...OH NO THAT'S AWFUL!

Ozian #1: WHAT HAPPENED!?

Head Dancer: They...FORGOT MY MUSTACHE! I'm supposed to get it in the next scene...but they forgot.

Ozian #1: THAT'S AWFUL! (begins singing) NO ONE MOURNS THE MUSTACHE!

Random Ozian: NO ONE CRIES IT WONT RETURN!

All Ozians: NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON ITS GRAVE

Head Dancer: Lily on its grave? I mean I'm pretty sure the mustache is sitting in my dressing room somewhere under all my, how to _ Pamphlets.

Fan Girl Offstage: LOOK ITS GALINDA

Glinda: (comes down in bubble is stomping foot angrily) WHY DOESNT ANYONE REMEBER MY NAME! It's GLINDA! Say it! GLIN-DA! GLIN-DA!

Fan Girl Offstage: GA-LIN-DA!

Glinda: NO! GLIN-DA GLINDA! THE GA IS SILENT! I changed my name for a reason (sits down and throws tantrum)

Ozian #2: Jeez, no need to get all sad Galinda

Glinda: IT'S GLINDA! GLIN-DA! IT'S NOT THAT HARD MY NAME ONLY HAS TWO SYLABLES.

Authoress: (rolls eyes) I see why they call them brainless...

Glinda to Authoress: WHAT WAS THAT BLONDIE!?

Authoress: Blondie? BLONDIE!? I'm NOT blonde why does everybody always think that! (stomps foot angrily)

Fiyero: HA! IM NOT BRAINLESS! YOUR'RE BRAINLESS! (points at Glinda)

Glinda;...?

Authoress:...?

Head Dancer:...?

Everybody:...?

Fiyero: SEE TOLD YA I'M NOT BRAINLESS!

Ozian #2: Oh yeah! What's seven minus two!?

Fiyero: Seven minus two is...seven minus two is...

Authoress: YOU CANT BE THAT STUPID!

Fiyero: You'd better believe it honey

Authoress: (ignoring Fiyero) Glinda, you were just about to launch in to the story of the Wicked Witch of the West

Ozian #1: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...that's who we're singing about...

Glinda: (ignoring Ozian #1) Right, Fellow Ozians today I'm going to give you the life story of my best friend the Wicked Witch of the West,

Wizard: Wonderful, they call me wonderful

Authoress: (rolls eyes) Hey You!

Glinda: Me?

Authoress: No You!

Ozian #1: Me!?

Authoress: You!

Glinda and Ozians and everybody else: WHO!?

Authoress: HIM!

Everyone: HIM?

Authoress: THAT GUY! (points near the back of the stage)

The lover: What!? What are you all looking at!? Oh I'm sorry do I have something in my teeth!?

Authoress: (muttering) I can see where Elphaba got all the sarcasm from

Wizard: Wonderful they call me wonderful

Fiyero: gasps

authoress:gasps

Glinda: gasps

head dancer; gasps

ozians: gasps

Elphaba who is somewhere offstage: gasps

Wizard: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE GASPING!?

Authoress: (pointing to Wizard) if that's the wizard then who's that? (points to lover)

Everyone turns to stare at The Lover

Wizard:...well this is awkward

The Lover: Jeez, people what's with all the staring!? Cant a man sneak in the governor's mansion to go cheat on his wife in peace!?

Everyone continues to stare at The Lover

Wizard and The Lover: ...I think I'll be going now (both back out of the door laughing manically)

Glinda: Well...

Authoress: Um... Glinda you were telling Elphaba Thropp's life story

Glinda: Oh yes! The Wicked Witch of the West is my best friend!

Random Ozian: Glinda!? It's true you were her friend!

Ozians: (gasp)

Random Ozian Lady: You really need to stop reading ahead in the script, you're not supposed to say that until the next scene

Random Ozian: Really?

Glinda: Yep

Random Ozian Lady: But... I'm supposed to whack you upside the head for saying that (whacks random Ozian upside the head)

Random Ozian: OwwwwwwWWWWwwWWWWWwwwWWwWWWwWWWWWWWWWWWWwWwwwwwwwW WWwwwWwWwwwwwwWWWWWWwwwwWwWwwwW

Glinda: ahem

Random Ozian: OwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWwwwWWWwwwwwWWwwWwwWWWwwWWwwWwwwWwW ...

Authoress: Ahem

Random Ozian:OwwwwwwWWWWwwWWWWWwwwWWwWWWwWWWWWWWWWWWWwWww wwwwwWWWwwwWwWwwwwwwWWWWWWwwwwWwW

Fiyero:Ahem

Random Ozian: OwwwwwwWWWWwwWWWWWwwwWWwWWWwWWWWWWWWWWWWwWwwwwwwwW WWwwwWwWwwwwwwW

Authoress, Glinda, Fiyero and entire company: AHEM!

Random Ozian: WHAAAAAAAAAT!?

Glinda: (clears throat) are you quite finished?

Random Ozian: Yeah, It didn't even hurt anyways

Random Ozian Lady: I can make it hurt (glares)

Random Ozian: Yeah, I'll just be leaving now...(turns around and runs for his sorry life)

Authoress: Tiggular you're not even supposed to be here, so scoot!

Fiyero: Actually I am, I get to spin the bed.

Glinda: THAT'S YOU WHO SPINS THE BED!?

Authoress: Glinda you can't even recognize you're ex fiancé that's sad, especially since you made a big deal out of him leaving you for your best friend.

Fiyero: Well It doesn't really matter anyways, since Elphaba and I faked our deaths and left Oz essentially leaving behind a broken-hearted Glinda but seriously who cares?

Glinda: I CARE! BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME! (pouts)

Fiyero: Jeez, Glinda I thought you got over that a long time ago...

Authoress: How'd you find out about that anyways!?

Fiyero: Oh I read it in this giant pack of paper that I found backstage...duh

Authoress: WHY IS EVERYBODY READING AHEAD IN THE SCIRPT!? Good Grief People!

Elphaba: (comes storming onstage) First of all it's called a script! Say it Sc-ript script! Second of all RUN AWAY WITH A BRAINLESS IDIOT LIKE HIM!? (Gestures to Fiyero) I DONT THINK SO! WHO'S WRITING THIS ANYWAYS!? BECAUSE WHOEVER IS SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO GO TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF COMMON SENSE! I MEAN SERIOUSLY PEOPLE FIYERO AND I!? HAVE YOU PEOPLE LOST YOUR MINDS!?

Fiyero: Calm down sweetie, I know it's a lot to take in, but don't worry we'll end up together in the end. Now I need you to calm down, and try not to loose control of your magice, sweetie.

Elphaba: (sending daggers at Fiyero) I AM NOT YOUR SWEETIE! AND MY MAGIC WILL NOT GET OUT OF CONTROL!

*All the glass in the room breaks*

Fiyero: (smirking)

Elphaba: (storms offstage)

Random Audience Member: Don't worry she'll come around...eventually.

Authoress: ELPHIE AND YERO FOREVER! Since we all know Fiyeraba is just about the best ship ever.

Gelphie Shippers: (leap up from seats in audience) OBJECTION! Glinda and Elphie were meant for each other!

Flinda shipper: (also leaps up from seat) I SECOND THAT! AKA I OBJECT! No Fiyero and Galinda were made for each other! Because she's perfect (points to Glinda) he's perfect (points to Fiyero) they're so perfect together!

Fiyeraba Shippers: OBJECTION! Fae and Yero are MADE FOR EACH OTHER!

*Fiyeraba, Flinda, and Gelphie Shippers all go in to an intense stare down*

Elphaba Fiyero and Glinda: Gel-what!? and the Fiyera-thingy!? WHAT IN OZ DOES THAT MEAN!?

Authoress: We'll explain later, just hurry up and finish the scene, you've already managed to stretch this 5 minutes scene in to a 10 minute one.

Glinda: And like every family they had their secrets

Ozian #1: Wow, that was random...

Authoress: Well! I had to keep Glinda on track!

Frex: Well, I'm off to the assembly dear.

Melena: Okay I'll just stay here and raise the fating of this production to all ages 8 and up. Because there are SO many teenagers with messed up minds out there, who totally assume the worst when I come out on the bed.

Frex: Errr...right...bye

Melena: BUT WE DIDNT FINISH OUR SONG! (pouts)

Frex: Right, How I hate to go and leave you lonely

Melena: That's alright it's only just one night

Frex: But know I am here in your heart while I'm out of your sight...

Fiyero: Woah high note!

Glinda: (scoffs) that was NOT high! You wanna see high I'll show you high (sings Cheno Note)

Fiyero: Woah, REALLY HIGH!

Glinda: (smugly) I try.

Authoress: Ahem

Glinda and Fiyero: Sorry...

Fiyero;...not

Authoress: What was that Tiggular!

Fiyero: Nothing...(dashes offstage)

Melena: (tapping foot impatiently) Where is the Lover!? I've been waiting here for like 30 seconds!

*5 minutes later*

Melena: HURRY UP LOVER!

*10 minutes later*

Melena: I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER DOWN HERE!

*15 minutes later*

Melena: HE'S ONLY IN LIKE TWO SCENES! WHY IS IT TAKING HIM SO LONG!?

*20 minutes later*

Melena: THAT'S IT! TIMES UP! (stalks offstage)

Authoress:(muttering)...I KNEW I should've written a Harry Potter fic, but NO I just HAD to do Wicked!

Melena: (comes back onstage, can be seen dragging lover on by the collar of his shirt) WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!? (Whacks The Lover upside the head)

The Lover: Well...I sort of...lost the Green Elixer...

Glinda: Oh! I know where that is it's under Elphie's pillow!

The Lover: (Whining) But that's all the way in another set

Melena: (sarcastically) Here's an idea, stop whining, AND GO GET IT!

The Lover: Of course...sweetie...(walks offstage, drags feet)

*items can be heard falling and breaking*

The Lover: I FOUND IT!

Melena: YAY! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimme da bottle!

The Lover: Are you sure that's a good idea? It looks like you're becoming seriously addicted, and it's bad for the-

Melena: (reaches over and grabs bottle out of The Lover's hand) YAY! (drinks it all in one gulp)

Fiyero: Woah!

Glinda: Woah!

Elphaba from somewhere off stage: Woah!

Random Ozian: Woah!

Random Ozian Lady: Woah!

The Wizard: Woah!

All Ozians: Woah!

Authoress: Woah! Well...In Melena's defense is was a small bottle...

Melena: Now leave me!

The Lover: YES I'M FREE! (runs offstage)

Authoress: Errrr...switch scenes...

Melena: ITS COMING!

Frex: WHAT!? THE MAIL! (runs over to door and proceeds to stick hand in and out of the mail box over and over agian) WHERE IS IT!? WHERE'S MY MALIBU BARBIE DOLL!?

Authoress: You play with barbies?

Frex: Nooooooo...(shifty eyes)

Melena: NO THE BABY! THE BABY'S COMING!

Frex: Oh...welll, its no Malibu Barbie Doll, but a baby's cool too...i guess...

Melena: If I weren't going in to labor right now I'd whack you upside the head! NOW COME HELP ME!

*15 minutes later*

Midwife: I see a nose

Frex: I see a curl

Both: It's a healthy perfect lovely little-

Frex: (lets out high pitched scream) AHHHHHH!

Melena: WHAT IS IT!?

Frex: THE BABY IS-

Melena: NO NOT THE BABY! WHAT IN OZ ARE YOU DOING TO MAKE YOUR VOICE SO HIGH PITCHED!? First, we sing a song and you end on a note that is WAY to high for you, if anything I'd expect Fiyero to be parading around in those hideodious tight white pants and singing that note-

Fiyero: HEY! I LIKE THOSE PANTS! BESIDES I LOOK GOOD IN THEM!

Fan Girls: Yes! He does! -swoons-

Melena: (ignoring Fan Girls and Fiyero) But I never expected YOU to be singing that high! THEN while I'm giving birth you let out a high pitched scream that sounds like it's coming from a seven year old. So I ask again HOW ARE YOU GETTING YOUR VOICE SO HIGH!?

Frex: (looking embarrassed) ummm...my voice is naturally that way...

Authoress: Ouch. Poor Frex. That must be embarrassing...

Frex: Yeah...

*awkward silence*

Authoress: Errrr...the scene!

Frex: Right!

Midwife: How can it be!

Frex: What does it mean!

Midwife: It's atrocious!

Frex: It's obsceeeeene!

Elphaba: (can be heard from offstage) Gee, thanks for saying all those wonderful things about me Frex!

Wizard: Wondeful they call me wonderful!

Authoress: Note. Your. Song. Get. Out.

Wizard:Awwww...but I don't get to come on until the END of Act II

Authoress: Well Deal with it!

Wizard: But that's not fair!

Authoress: Life's not fair! Now Scoot!

Wizard: !? $%?! Fine... (stomps offstage)

Authoress: (gestures to Frex, and Midwife) continue

Frex and Midwife: Like a Froggy, ferny cabbage the baby is unnaturally...GREEN!

Melena: Well duh

Frex: YOU KNEW OUR BABY WAS GOING TO BE GREEN AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME! HOW'D YOU FIND OUT ANYWAYS!?

Melena: Oh I read it in this giant pack of paper backstage!

Elphaba: (can be heard from offstage) Sweet Oz! It's called a script!

Authoress: WHY IS EVERYONE READING AHEAD IN THE SCRIPT!? (throws tantrum)

Frex: Take it away!

Melena: No! Leave her here! She's kinda cute...

Elphaba from somewhere offstage: WHAT!? I AM NOT CUTE!

*awkward silence*

Glinda: So you see it couldn't have been easy!

Ozian #1: Once again Glinda VERY RANDOM!

Authoress: Goodbye! (pushes Ozian #1 in to orchestra pit)

Ozian #1: Okay, I'll just wait down here...hello...anyone there...I'm still getting my paycheck...right?

Authoress: SHUT UP! Ahem...

Ozians: Oh yeah...NO ONE MOURNS THE MUSTACHE! TOO BAD IT'S LOST AND GONE! NOW THERE'S NO JOY THROUGHT THE LAND!

Glinda:AND IIIIIIIIIIII KNOW THE MUSTACHE'S LIVES ARE LONELY!

Authoress: STOP! THOSE ARE NOT THE LYRICS! I do like this song...so please, sing it with the RIGHT lyrics!

Glinda: Of course...NO ONE MOURNS THE PIIIIIIIIIINK!

Authoress: ...Pink?

Glinda: Yeah, well after I go to work for the Wizard I don't get to wear anymore pink. The least we could do is sing a song about it.

Authoress:...fair enough...

Everybody: NO ONE MOURNS THE PINK! PIIIIIINK! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!

Fiyero: O.o high note

Authoress: SHUT IT TIGGULAR!

Fiyero: (clearly ignoring Authoress) Seven Minus Two Is...

Authoress: Tiggular are you ignoring me!

Fiyero:Seven Minus Two is...

Authoress: Tiggular...

Fiyero: Seven Minus Two is...

Authoress: If I tell you, will you shut up?

Fiyero: Seven minus two is...

Authoress: Try Five!

Fiyero: Take Five! YAY! EVERYBODY BREAKTIME!

Everybody: YAY! (everybody runs offstage_

Authoress: (facepalm) TIGGULAR GET BACK HERE! (stalks offstage cursing Fiyero under her breath)

Glinda: HEY WHAT ABOUT ME!? I'M STILL STUCK IN THIS BUBBLE! HELLOOOOOO...ANYBODY?

*lights go off*

Glinda:(whispers) I'm afraid of the dark...

Fiyero: (can be heard from offstage) And Scene!

Authoress: Tiggular!

Fiyero: O.o (runs away from angry Authoress)

**So did you love it? LIke it? Hate it? Want to hit me for writing this? Just review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And we're back with the one and only HAPPYobsessedwickedfan3611! Please give it up for another chapter of Oh My Oz Another Parody. *applause***

**EmeraldReine: O.o I don't want anybody dying on me :( *speaking in fast voice* theHAPPYobsessedwickedfan3611 will not be held responsible for any injuries, or possible death from reading Oh My Oz Another Parody.**

**Elphaba-WWW: No! No Pizza! Alright I updated...NOW UPDATE WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE OR I'LL SEND BBQ, PIE, PIZZA, AND STEAMED ARTICHOCKES OVER TO YOUR HOUSE! 8-D**

**Huge shout outs to: Niathewickedlover, EmeraldReine, ExoticPeachBlossom, Elphaba-WWW, Mad-Idina-Fan98, and Thegreencunsoltingdragon.**

**Thank you SO MUCH for all your awesome reviews!**

**-happy3611**

*music can be heard coming from somewhere offstage*

_I whip my hair back and forth_

_I whip my hair back and forth_

_I whip my hair back and forth_

_I whip my hair,_

_I whip it real good_

Elphaba: *comes storming onstage* WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE SOUND!?

[Music continues playing]

Suddenly a conga line of ALL ast members except Glinda, and Elphaba comes onstage. Fiyero is at the front, then comes the Flatheads, Witch Hunters, Emerald City Residents, Shiz Students, Boq, Nessa...

Glinda: YOU HAD A PARTY WITHOUT ME!?

Fiyero: (ignoring Glinda, continues to party)

Glinda:TIGGULAR! TIGGULAR ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?

Conga line continues, Morrible and the Wizard come out also on the Conga line.

Glidna:WHAT!? YOU INVITED THE FISH AND THE HUMBUG BUT NOT ME!?

Dorothy comes out on the end of the Conga line.

Elphaba: WHO INVITED THE FARM BRAT!?

Authoress: Alright enough is enough, everyone who is not in the next scene, OUT!

Witch Hunters, Emerald City residents, Melena, and the Wizard all walk off.

Dorothy: "Can I stay please?"

Nessa: I'd leave...BEFORE SOMEONE DROPS A HOUSE ON YOU!

Dorothy: I said I was sorry!

Nessa: I DONT CARE! I FELT SQUISHED!

Elphaba: I'm warning you kid, leave my sister alone or...

Dorothy: AHHHHHHH! SHE'S GREEN SOMEONE GET ME SOME WATER!

Elphaba: (snickering) You really think that's going to work.

Dorothy: It did at the last showing! And the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing befor that...and the showing before that...and the-

Phannee: Except for that time when Idina fell through the trap door, and had to be taken to the hospital...

Dorothy: Same difference! She still fell when I through the bucket of water on her!

Wicked Fans: ATTACK! SHE HURT DEE! (Wicked fans run onstage and attack Dorothy for hurting Idina)

Rosciolians: ?

Wicked fans: (look up from mobbing Dorothy) We mean Idina (chase Dorothy offstage)

Elphaba: YOU FORGOT YOUR LITTLE DOG DODO YOU FARM BRAT! (kicks Dodo offstage)

Fiyero: (pointing at Elphaba) ANIMAL CRUELTY! ANIMAL CRUELTY! SHE KICKED HIM! SHE KICKED THE DOG!

Audience: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

Elphaba: Is that Animal or animal, it's so hard to tell when people are typing in all caps. Animal...animal...hmmmmm...

Authoress: (rolling eyes) I see that at the pace we're going it's going to take us another 6 billion years to get through this parody...

Glinda: SIX BILLION!? I'LL BE OLD AND WRINKLY THOUGH! LIKE MADAME MORRIBLE!

Madame Morrible: (looking extremely offended) Hey! I happen to feel very pretty when I have my makeup on and I after I go through my long morning routine to get ready. First I get up go to the sink and begin to scrub my-

Authoress: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! WE DONT NEED DETAILS!

*awkward silence*

Elphaba: Well...this is awkward. We're sort of sitting in between scenes right now since, NOMTW already ended, and Dear Old Shiz hasn't started and...

Authoress: Oh Yeah...ummm...switch scenes!

*scene change*

Melena is sitting on a big bed in a big room.

Lover: Climes through the window) I've brought you some Green Elixer ready to have some _fun _(climbs on bed with Melena)

Authoress: WOAH! WE DO NOT NEED TO SEE THAT!

*scene change*

Galinda: (is standing at a bright pink sink brushing her teeth) *singing to the tune of row row row you're boat* Brush Brush Brush Your Teeth-

Authoress: This is just weird...

*scene change*

Madame Morrible: Okay first I start by cleaning out all my_

Authoress: WOAH! WE DONT NEED TO SEE THIS!

*scene change*

Dorothy: Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

Fiyero: Duh, and they call me brainless...

Glinda: DODO!

Authoress:WHAT!? THIS ISNT EVEN FROM WICKED!

*scene change*

Fiyero: "...maybe I'm Brainless, maybe I'm wise..."

Elphaba: (snorts) Trust me, you're definitely brainless

Authoress: Ouch! Burn Fiyero! Burn!

Scarecrow Hunters: GO HUNT HIM AND FIND HIM AND BURN HIM!

Elphaba: Scarecrow hunters?

Authoress: Yes, because Fiyero gets transformed in to a scarecrow and scarecrows being made out of straw can bu- WAIT YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!

Elphaba: Hmn...Fiyero...Bonfire...Fiyero...Bonfire...say Fiyero wanna come play REALLY close to this fire.

Fiyero: Okay, but I really dont see why theres a fi-AHHHH!

Authoress: HE'S ON FIRE!

Glinda: ...yea well I know hes hot-

Authoress: NO HES LITERALLY ON FIRE!

Dorothy: No need to fear! Dorothy is here! (Dumps bucket of water Fiyero)

Fiyero: Im Melting! Im mel-

Elphaba: Hey...that sounds familiar...HEY! NOT COOL TIGGULAR!

Authoress: You're one too talk, you shoved him in there in the first place...

Elphaba: SHUT IT BLONDIE!

Authoress; Blondie!? BLONDIE!? IM NOT BLONDE!

Elphaba-WWW: I personally think Blonde would suite you.

Authoress: OH SHUT UP YOURE SO ANNOYING

Elphaba-WWW: (sarcasm) Oh, IM annoying...

Authoress: Yes, you are, infact I think I'll call you the annoying one

The Annoying One- HEY!

Authoress: How'd you get here anyways?

ExoticPeachBlossom: YOU'RE THE ONE WRITING THIS ARENT YOU?

Authoress: WHY ARE YOU YELLING!

Exotic: IM NOT YELLING YOU ARE!

Authoress: NO YOU ARE! YOU'RE- Oh wait I left the caps on whoops

The Annoying One- (faceplam) IDIOT!

Authoress: I'll deal with you later lets just get this over with! (Stalks off stage grabs Shiz students and drags them onstage) SING MY ANGELS SING!

Christine: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! The Phantom of the Opera!

Authoress: (facepalm) NOT YOU!

Orphans: We love you Miss Hanigan

Grace O' Malley: (swings in on vine like Fiyero in No Good Deed) NO NEED TO FEAR THE PIRATE QUEEN IS HERE!

UnderDog: HEY! Thats MY catch phrase, get your own!

Fiyero: (looking at Grace with interest) Y'know you're kinda hot for a pirate!

Galinda: (gasp) BUT FIFI! YOU'RE MINE! (Walks over to Grace) I dont know who you are buster but the boy is mine!

Elphaba: He was never yours to begin with, if he's anybody's he's MINE!

Galinda: Oh Yeah!

Elphaba: Heck yeah!

Galinda: GREEN BEAN!

Elphaba: BUBBLE BRAIN!

Galinda: ARTICHOKE!

Elphaba: BLONDIE!

Galinda: (skips straight to slapping)

*slap*

Elphaba: Feel better now! (Witch Cackle)

Fiyero: Wait! I thought the catfight scene was in Act II Over Nessa's Death...

Nessa: MY WHAT!?

Authoress: TIGGULAR! YOU READ AHEAD IN THE SCRIPT AGAIN!?

Fiyero: (Ignoring Authoress, turns to face Grace) So, I'll be picking you up around eight...

Teirnan: BACK OFF BUSTER! THIS IS MY GIRLFRIND!

Grace: WHERE'S QUEEN ELIZABETH!?

The Annoying One: Oh, Im pretty sure she's cooped up in Buckingham Palace somewhere...

Authoress: She means Elizabeth I idiot!

Fiyero: There were two Elizabeths...

Elphaba: (ignoring everyone) Didn't she die like 500 years ago...

Fiyero: Ewwwww...Im crushing on an old lady...(glances at Grace)

Terinan: Are you calling MY GIRLFRIEND Old!?

Fiyero: (gulp) Nooooooooo...

Authoress: Things are about to get ugly...

The Annoying one: ...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Things just got INTERESTING! Someone make me a bowl of popcorn!

Elphaba: (looking slyly at The Annoying One) ...a bowl of popcorn?

The Annoying One: Yep,

Elphaba: Okay (casts some long and complicated spell) Okay The Annoying One otherwise known as Elphaba-WWW you are now a bowl of popcorn.

The-Annoying-one-otherwise-known-as-Elphaba-WWW-th e-bowl-of-popcorn: O.O

Authoress: As much as I'd like to leave her like that I cant.

Dorothy: Why not?

Elphaba: Beat It Kid!

Authoress: It's 'gainst regulation

The-Annoying-one-otherwise-known-as-Elphaba-WWW-th e-bowl-of-popcorn: (sighs)

Authoress: Elphaba change her back

Elphaba: Fine! (Changes The-Annoying-one-otherwise-known-as-Elphaba-WWW-th e-bowl-of-popcorn back)

The Annoying One: Now that Im not a bowl of popcorn anymore...IMA KILL YOU!

Authoress: (Seeing that things are about to get ugly orders everyone to leave) YES YOU HEARD ME! EVRYONE NOT INVOLVED IN THE MUSICAL WICKED OUT! YOU TOO DOROTHY! EXOTICPEACHBLOSSOM AND ELPHABA-WWW THIS INCLUDES YOU TOO!

Elphaba-WWW: HA! SHE REMEMBERED MY NAME!

Authoress: Hold on...

The Annoying One: HEY!

Authoress: (smirks)

ExoticPeachBlossom: But we are part of Wicked we're the FANS!

Authoress: I dont care! Out!

The Annoying One: Fine! (Sticks tongue out at Authoress and exits)

[ExoticPeachBlossom and Elphaba-WWW exit]

Authoress: (muttering) Glad that's over...(raises voice) Now we've already wasted a lot of paper with all the nonsense so PLEASE just start Dear Old Shiz!

Shizians: Okay boss, (singing now) Old big fat face, and lots of white paste, the ugliest sight there is. When grey and sere her hair has turned, We shall be scarred by the images of our Dear Old Headmistress. Our Dear Old

Glinda: Ooooooooooooold

Shizians: Headmistress...

Authoress to Shizians: (muttering) I'm going to ignore that for the sake of the scene, and the saftey of all others...

[ExoticPeachBlossom and Elphaba-WWW/The Annoying One can be heard from offstage]

The Annoying One: (weeping tears of joy) ..truer...words were...never spoken...

ExoticPeachBlossom: Get ahold of yourself! Here's a tissue box...(grumbling) I Did NOT sign up for babysitting...

Authoress: (Yelling Offstage) YOU TWO! BE QUIET! YOU'RE RUINING THE MOMENT!

Madame Morrible: Welcome, Welcome I am Madame Morrible head Shiztress of Shiz University! Im supposed to make some huge boring lecture, about welcoming you all here and all that boring stuff, blah, blah, blah...but Im being to lazy, so rules, (sucks in Deep breathe takes out LONG piece of paper full of rules) No-

Authoress: No!No! That's quite alright we DONT need to hear everything!

Morrible: Are you sure there ate only 5,186,890,090,452,001 rules...

Authoress: No! (Shakes head frantically) No! No! No! No! Thats quite alright!

Morrible: Are you sure!? i could-

Authoress: No! Thats okay! Er- QUE ELPHABA!

Frex: Here you go Nessie

Nessa: Glass Slippers!

Frex: Here you go! (Hands Nessa shoes)

Authoress:...GLASS SLIPPERS!?

Cinderella: I was looking for those (takes glass slipper and leaves)

Stagehand: Wrong box, (hands Frex Identical box)

Frex: Here you are Nessie

Nessa: YAY! MORE SHOES! (Takes shoes but accidentally drops shoes)

Everyone: (gasp)

The Annoying One: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

ExoticPeachBlossom: THE SHOOOOOOOES!

Nessa: (Claps Twice! stage manager appears with another pair of shoes) YAY EVEN MORE SHOES!

Elphaba: (looking offended) Yes, well in that case I think I'll just take the shoes Nessa dropped on the floor, (takes shoes and stuffs in pockets)

Fiyero: O.o THAT IS ONE HUUUUGE POCKET WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN THERE!?

Authoress: Ahem! you're wasting my paper! Nessa you were leaving,

Morrible: Whoops sorry, you (points at random person who just happens to be Galinda) room with her (points at another random person who just happens to be Elphaba) You, (points at Nessa) room with me (points to herself)

Galinda: WHAT!?

Elphaba: WHAT!?

Nessa: WHAAAAAAT!?

Morrible: (grabs Nessa's chair and begins to wheel her away)

Nessa: Elphaba! come save me!

Elphaba: (scoffs) I DONT think so, save yourself, do something by yourself for once.

Nessa: BUT YOUR MY SLAVE-ER SISTER!

Elphaba: (muttering) ...thats exactly why...

Authoress: Thropp! You have to go save her!

Elphaba: (Whinging) Do I have too...

Authoress: (stern look) Yes, you do.

Elphaba: Ugh, fine spourpuss (dramatic gesture Nessa's chair is suddenly back in Elphaba's hands)

Students: Ooooooooooooh! Cool! Again! Again!

Morrible: (speechless) How did she do that?

Galinda: How did she do that?

Students: How did she do that?

Elphaba: (looking irritated) is there an Echo in here!?

[Awkward Silence]

Elphaba-WWW: (runs across back of thr stage) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES!

Authoress: What the!?

Elphaba-WWW: (runs across back of stage in oposite direction) SHE REMEMBERED MY NAAAAAAAAAME!

Authoress: Oh wait a minute- hold on- There we go!

The Annoying One: HEY!

Authoress: (to ExoticPeachBlossom) How much sugar did you feed her!?

ExoticPeachBlossom: (grumps) I did NOT sign up for babysitting, I think I'll just go sit in the audience. (Goes to sit in Audience)

Authoress:...okay?

Elphaba: We need an end.

Authoress: Oh Yeah!

[Suddenly the lights flicker and go out]

Galinda: WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE RANDOM LIGHT SWITCHING OFFINESS!?

[Balloons fall from the ceiling and the lights go back on, a huge banner is revealed with 'Congradulations!' on it in fat green letters]

Galinda; Awwwwww...a party for me, you're all to sweet, I just cant accept this...

Authoress: And you wont! The party is for Elphaba!

Galinda: WHAT!?

Elphaba: WHAAAAAT!?

Morrible: Congratz. You're in the club!

Elphaba: What club!?

Morrible: The club of-

Fiyero: HOT DOGS!

Everyone: HOT DOGS!?

Fiyero; Yeah, well Im hungery...

Elphaba: YOU EAT HOT DOGS!? DOGS AS IN WITH A CAPITAL D! ANIMAL CRUELTY! MURDERER! M-

Authoress: SHUT UP! YOU'RE WASTING MY PAPER! D'YOU KNOW HOW MANY TREES ARE DYING BECAUSE OF YOU!? ELPHABA YOU'RE IN THE SORCERY CLUB-

Galinda: Is there a sign up sheet for that-

Authoress: (Elphaglare) SHUT UP UPLAND!

Galinda: O.o Sad Face

Authoress: THATS IT! I LOATHE YOU ALL! I QUIT!

Elphaba: You cant quit! The paper you signed-

Authoress: (sighs) Right...WELL THEN WE'RE DONE WITHNTHE SCENE EVERYONE OUT! (muttering) Someone fetch me some asprain...HEY YOU! I WANT A COFFEE STAT!

[Black Out]

The Annoying One: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES!

Authoress: (muttering) Shut up!

**Ugh, I hate it :P Reviews please? I need something to cheer me up.**

**just to clarify The Annoying One is Elphaba-WWW**

**Elphaba-WWW and ExoticPeachBlossom lemme know if Im doing something with your character that you dont like and I'll stop it ASAP! **

**And I have such a headache...here in England all there is is rain...rain...and more rain...so gloomy...**

**-happy3611**


End file.
